


And Yet, Despite The Look On My Face, You're Still Talking

by futuretrapqueen



Category: Football RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-15
Updated: 2015-08-15
Packaged: 2018-04-14 18:24:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4575051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/futuretrapqueen/pseuds/futuretrapqueen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>5 board games that Cristiano really shouldn't play and 1 that Leo is now absolutely banned from (but it's all Cris' fault).</p>
            </blockquote>





	And Yet, Despite The Look On My Face, You're Still Talking

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by my many endeavors into 'family game night' and how shit usually ends up going down ;) Enjoy !!

**Cristiano vs Scrabble**

"Kitten. K-I-T-T-E-N. Boom!"

"Good one babe. Okay, let's see ... Oh! Trepidation. T-R-E-P-I-D-A-T-I-O-N."

"..."

"It's your turn, Cris."

"Oh yeah, uh ... Aha! Anthem. A-N-T-H-E-M."

"Nice, okay um ... Equivalent! E-Q-U-I-V-A-L-E-N-T."

"..."

"Cris. Baby it's your go."

"Shhh Leo I'm thinking ... Uh. Um ... Fuck! Okay ummm ..."

"..."

"..."

"... Log."

"Log?"

"Yes you asshole. Log. L-O-G. Log!"

"Okay. Okay. That's good. That was a good one babe."

"Don't patronize me Leo. Just take your fucking turn."

"Okay ummm ... Gargantuan. G-A-R-G-A-N-T HEY! WHAT THE FUCK CRIS! YOU CAN'T JUST FLIP THE BOARD BECAUSE YOUR'E LOSING!"

"I wouldn't be losing if YOU weren't cheating, Lionel."

"How the hell am I cheating?"

"Gargantuan, Leo? Please. That's not a fucking word."

"Uh, yes it is Cris. it means _huge, enormous, vast, massive_."

"Kind of like the hole I'm going to punch through your skull ..."

~

**Cristiano vs Guess Who**

"Does your person have blonde hair?"

"Mmm describe blonde?"

"Er ... Is it like a yellowish color?"

"Well yes, I suppose so."

"You suppose so? Cris, is it blonde or not?"

"I mean technically yes, it's blonde. If you're asking me personally though I say no, it's definitely not."

"..."

"..."

"Okay so it's blonde?"

"Sure if you squint."

"CRIS!"

"Leo I'm telling you, this shit is like sandy beige not blonde, but I can see how people would think it is."

"Okay."

"They're wrong though."

"Oh my God ..."

"Very wrong."

~

**Cristiano vs Twister**

"Okay, left foot green"

"Ow, fuck Leo, be careful!"

"Sorry ..."

"Jesus, for someone with Oompa Loompa legs you sure know how to get in the way."

"Seriously Cris? The mat is only so big ..."

"And yet your 4'11" body is covering the whole damn thing. I need my space, Leo."

"Where the fuck would you like me to go!?"

"Just spin the wheel Leo."

"... okay right hand red."

"Leo! Get out my way!"

"How? How am I supposed to get out of your way!?"

"Just - just crouch down a bit so I can use you like a table."

"Listen here, you long limbed motherfucker ..."

~

**Cristiano vs Trivial Pursuit: Disney Edition**

"Okay Cris. The song _A Dream Is A Wish Your Heart Makes_ is from what Disney movie?"

"Uh ... okay hold on. Um ... ALADDIN!"

"... No."

"No?"

"No Cris, it's from Cinderella."

"The fuck? No it's not, it's that scene in Aladdin when he finds the genie and the dude grants him three wishes."

"No ..."

"The title of the song has the words _dream_ and _wish_ in it Leo. I don't think you know what you're talking about."

"..."

"..."

"Ok, let's - let's just try another one ... Ah! Okay this is an easy one. What movie is the Disney villain, _Ursula_ , from?"

"CINDERELLA! Ha! That is definitely Cinderella!"

"Cris. No."

"Uh yes it is! That's the name of her evil step sisters, Ursula and um, well you know, the other ugly one."

"No that's Anastasia and Drizella. Ursula is from The Little Mermaid."

"... Same fucking difference Leo. They're all assholes."

~

**Cristiano vs Monopoly**

"Fuck this game! Fuck Pennsylvania Avenue! I didn't want it that badly anyway and you can send me to jail all you want bitch, I don't fucking care!"

"..."

"Seriously, fuck this game."

~

**Leo vs ~~Cristiano~~ Pictionary**

If there is one thing Lionel Messi prided himself on, it was his ability to keep his composure. Sure he was competitive, but he tried his best to not let that aspect of himself bleed out into his regular life. In fact, that was very very important to him, not feeling the need to win everything, all of the time.

So when Cristiano had invited his best friend Ricky and his girlfriend over for _game night_ , Leo knew he had to try his best to not take it too seriously.

That was very hard though.

Especially when Cristiano was your teammate.

"Cris, you ready?"

"Mhmmm, draw your heart out baby."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Okay ... Okay it's some sort of tube."

"..."

"Some sort of tube with ... With a flower in it?"

"..."

"Oh it's vase! No? No okay so it's a tube then with ... Is it toothpaste? A tube of toothpaste!"

"..."

"Not a tube of toothpaste, okay. Ummm a tube of ... candies? Maybe a jar? A jar of candies! No? Seriously? Ok then well ..."

"..."

"A glass tube maybe ..."

"..."

"A glass tube with a small amou - "

"IT'S NOT A FUCKING TUBE CRIS! NOT A FUCKING TUBE! WHEN I DIDN'T JUMP FOR JOY THE FIRST FUCKING TIME YOU SAID IT, YOU WHAT? YOU JUST THOUGHT YOU'D KEEP SAYING IT UNTIL I CHANGED MY MIND! IT DOESN'T WORK LIKE THAT CRIS! IF IT ISN'T 'TUBE' THE FIRST FUCKING TIME, IT WON'T BE 'TUBE' THE 900TH TIME EITHER!"

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"So it's not a tube?"


End file.
